| my parachute didn't open...and when my backup failed...the pixy dust prevailed....and i woke up next to you...all i wanted was to hold you.... |
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| funni how somethings in life can be totally out of your reach....only time can tell ... |
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| recently i been confused abt one thing....wut i want to do in my life...as a profession...see this how it is...architecture has been a real different experience...fromt he fact learning and being able to express ur ideas...a dream i felt i wanted to do..but at times i feel like im not cut out to do the work...but yet i know i can do it if i realli devote my time..thought where is my passion to do the work?...i personally asked my teacher " have u ever doubted architecture before?...he said "never"...thas crazi...in a way i want to believe hes lying but yet i believe hes words cuz if u look at him now..hes brillant architect...i wanna get that good..but is my potiential enough...i neva seem to past this stupid phaze of being lazy...and ont he back of my mind i want to be a chef...but the thing that holds me back is the fact is that im in to deep now... people think that im doin architecture and always say "hey u gona build me a house rite?"...well its great taht they say that but the thing that runs through my mind is ...is that realli me?....the thing that kept me in architecture is its wierd how i can realli enjoy it...well i dunno wut im sayin rite now...i been pullin myself in two ways...but im gona stick it through...i want to do it...its gona be a rough road but i love the feelin of knowin that i can accomplish wut i thought i couldnt do...i knoe there is so much i want to do out there but maybe architecture could be it...maybe this might be the passion the teacher was talkina bt....cuz hey...u cant turn back time...u gotta do wut u gotta do...and my family aint rich...truthfully it my seems that we might be blessed fromt he fact taht we have everything we need...but my family is jus like any other average family...we have hard time livin life cuz its hard...y would i mess up... i derserved to get slapped by not takin school seriously sometimes...but the thing is recently i jus have been lost mentally in wut i want to do...though now...jus now...jus a few mins ago ....this is the reason i had to realli had to write this out is that i finally realize i have been the fool to not realli see how truly blessed i am to be in such a caring and amazing family...i been given so many opportunities to catch up wit work ...my life...myself...and i always throw it away.....but im takin this opportunity now...to step up to this challenge to...to mold my life...im freakin 20 yrs old alreadi and i need to fuckin grow up...cuz we cant buy back time but i can use the time i have to discover wut life has fo me...in a nut shell...learn, live , and love... |
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